Life Down On The Farm

The way I feel right now I think I would have more energy if I were dead.

Have you ever noticed how some women take their wedding ring off when they do things? They take it off to wash their hands or do the dishes. They take it off to work outside or clean the house. Some women only wear the ring when they are going somewhere. It is all about caring for the diamond or precious stone in the ring. I don't look at it that way. I have worn my ring every single day for the last 22 years, I only take it off when I go to bed at night. I used to even wear it to bed, but I apparently have a habit of throwing my arm across Dan at night and he didn't appreciate being scratched by my ring.

To me my ring is a symbol of our marriage...probably what most women say, but I mean it differently. My ring is just like our marriage, it has been in hot water, it has been in deep s**t, it has been shiny and new and it has been not quite perfect in shape. My marriage has been the same things...every day I slip on the ring I remember the day I first had it slipped on my finger. I remember the day we went to Spencer and picked it out, I remember the day I had to have it cut off and sized bigger. This ring symbolizes the ups and downs of a day to day marriage.

Someday I hope to live long enough to pass my ring onto a grandchild. It isn't worth much monetarily but the memories are priceless. I hope to have a day where I look at my child's children, and think that it is time to pass the ring on to them. There is nothing as precious as passing family treasures down the generations and I hope to be able to do that. I will have something for each grandchild special from me, or Dan, and I hope they cherish it as much as I cherish the things I have from my grandmother. Doesn't have to be expensive, in the case of my wedding ring it doesn't even have to be shiny and new, it just has to have meaning. I want to share the joys of my marriage, and life, with my grandchildren.

Concerning my previous post about people not getting the memo...apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...no wonder the kid acts that way, the parent is just as bad! Good thing I am not letting it bother me...I know who is right in this particular situation...not always right, but they are this time. War is never the answer...

I have only one resolution for the new year...the same one I have every year and manage to keep. No resolutions! There are things I would like to accomplish in the new year, but why set myself up and then fail...such a disappointment. If I succeed then I might think that next year I can set higher goals...and then be even more disappointed if I don't reach them. So I will just continue to plug away at my life and if something happens that I worked for then great, if not, then there is always another chance another time. Ahhh...freedom!

Didn't everyone get the memo? Christmas is supposed to be a happy day, not a day to make someone cry. I wake up Christmas morning and, out of habit, reach for my phone to check my emails. One such email is a notification of a posting on my facebook wall...a not nice posting, a posting bashing one of my children, a posting that had no reason to be on my wall. So after reading the post I deleted it, because really it was not at all nice nor was it at all necessary to put out there for everyone to read...facebook has private message for things that should be private, although this particular post didn't need to be said at all. So if the person who wrote that post reads my blog, and I am pretty sure this person does, I just want to let them know that they ruined my Christmas day. No one is perfect, including my children, but don't be putting them down, that just makes you look petty. The comments made will continue to run through my head, I will try to forget, but it won't be easy. You hurt my child you hurt me. I hope you feel good about yourself, I hope what you said made you feel like you are right and my child is wrong, because apparently you need to feel that way. I am sorry you don't feel enough love in your life that you need to hurt someone to feel happy. Most of all I hope you have a Merry Christmas, because thanks to you I won't.

I am thankful my son is still alive.

He was hanging out at a friend's house when someone started banging on the door. Before anyone could get to the door to open it, it was kicked open and there were two men with assault rifles. They told everyone in the room to get on the floor, but the eight people there didn't really take them seriously...until they were told again and had the guns pointed at them. Brian was sitting on the floor and the robbers were grabbing cell phones and car keys...making it harder for the people to contact the police after the robbers left. It was obvious that the robbers didn't know what they were doing...their actions and words were confused...and when one guy said a dumb remark Brian laughed. Sometimes this kid doesn't think...so the robber punched him in the face and then pointed the gun at his face. Brian was calm...but it makes me sick to even think about it.

They took cell phones, car keys, wallets, computers and money and left. But they also left behind computers and money and other valuables. No one's car was taken, just everyone's keys. Brian lost his keys, phone and wallet...which contained his debit card, social security card, health insurance card and some cash. All of those things can be replaced. Brian can't.

I was okay when he called and told me what happened, and how they talked to the police for three hours. I was okay when he said he lost everything, including his apartment key, because all of it has his Iowa address so the robbers don't know where he lives in Lawrence. I was even okay when he told me he has a bump on his head from being punched. But after I hung up and was relaying the story to others someone said "lucky he is alive"...then I wasn't so okay. The reality hit me...my son had a gun pointed at him...

I thank God he didn't get hurt any worse and that no one else got hurt. The things that were stolen can all be replaced...lives can't. I have no problem with guns, but when you are using them to rob people I have a problem. I hope the robbers get caught and punished. I also hope Brian continues to deal with this the way he is now...one freaked out person in the family is enough.

I took the afternoon off today to help Dan take a load of junk to Spencer and get rid of Becky's old car too. We had everything loaded and took off...me driving the truck that was pulling the trailer full of junk and Dan driving the car that had no brakes. Everything was going well until I crossed Highway 10 and the truck suddenly died! I tried to restart it but it wouldn't, so I called Dan to come back and help me...all the while thanking God that I had made it all the way across the highway! He came back but it still wouldn't start, so thankfully we had jumper cables in the truck, and after a few tries, the truck started. Dan decided it would be better if he drove the truck since it seemed to be acting up, and I would drive the car. Okay...but the car had no, none, zip, nada, zilch for brakes! YIKES!

I was fine as long as I went slow and gave myself plenty of time to stop...we took the back roads so there wasn't much traffic. My biggest concern was the big hill on the way into Gillett Grove...I was slightly (totally) freaked out about going down that and not being able to slow myself down! But I made it and it really wasn't bad. Got as far as the intersection of Hwy 18 and M54 and had a stop sign...lucky for me there was no traffic coming so I kind of slowed down and cruised my way across :) Made it to the next stop sign on the edge of Spencer, but by this time I had a whole line of vehicles behind me! I slowed way down and with the help of the emergency brake I came to a full stop...about 50 feet from the stop sign! But there was no way I was going any closer or I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop again...I let the cross traffic go and then I took off.

Finally, after what seemed like years, I made it to the place where we were selling the car...never have I been so happy to see a business! We got our money for the junk metal and the car and headed home. Of course, the truck had no trouble for Dan the rest of the way up to Spencer or all the way home...typical!

You may think I am going to post all about why I don't go to church and why I don't feel it is necessary to do so in order to be a good Christian. You are wrong...I have talked and talked on this subject and I am not doing it anymore. Go to church, great...just don't imply by my not going that I am wrong.

All I want for Christmas is my family around me...and I didn't think it was going to happen this year. Brian is 6 hours away and Becky is 8 hours away...and they both work so have schedules to deal with there. I had resigned myself to only having two of the kids home, but then Becky surprised me and said she is coming home too. Happy dance!

It is that time again, time for the annual Christmas letters everyone sends in their cards. To me the letter is more important than the card, because it tells the world what has been going on and how much your kids have grown and just how wonderful your life is compared to every other sorry sucker in the world...haha.

It is Christmas people, not xmas. X does not replace Christ in any sense of the word so please cease and desist from using it as such. Thank you.