I have had these brown shoes for years. They have a "hidden" heel in them and are incredibly comfortable. For years I searched and searched for a pair of brown shoes to go with both dresses and pants so I really can't give these up, I may never find another pair to replace them!

date September 28, 2010

Senior year of 2011...also known as "The Ones" :)

date September 24, 2010

I made cinnamon rolls tonight and realized when I opened my cookbook that this was apparently a well used recipe...the page is discolored and stained. Cookbook page as art? Why not?

date September 22, 2010

Becky has started a blog and I am proud to say I was the first to be an official follower. This blog is so Becky, but I hate to comment on everything she writes or she will get annoyed with me and stop writing, or worse, change the blog site and not tell me! Even though she lives hundreds of miles away she still makes me laugh :)


Sometimes life doesn't go the way you planned it. Sometimes you have to do things you never thought you would have to do. Sometimes you can do the same thing and get different results.

You raise your children to be independent, self-sufficient, respectable adults. Along the way there are always bumps and upsets, but you learn to deal with them and move on. But once in awhile those bumps turn into hills and if you aren't careful, those hills can become mountains.

It is difficult to admit that your child is depressed. Mostly because people just assume that means she is sad and she will get over it. No. She has an illness called depression and unless treated properly she will not get over it. Yet the treatment doesn't always work 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Some days are hard on her and that makes those days hard on me as well. She has no reason for her feelings and that makes it harder yet. Sometimes, plain and simple, life sucks.

Depression is a common illness and there are probably plenty of people we are in contact with every day that suffer from it. But it has such a stigma attached that few people talk about it, let alone admit they have it. Television commercials try to sell the right drug to "fix it" but it is still something that no one wants to talk about. These people are just sad, tell them to get over it and move on. Someone dies, you are sad. Your car breaks down, your house starts on fire, your dog dies, you get a detention in school, you get fired...all those things make you sad. But for those things you know why you are sad, with depression you don't know why. That alone makes it more difficult, then when you have people telling you to get over it that just makes it worse. People bitch and complain about how bad their lives are, you tell them they are just making you feel worse, they continue to bitch...not helping!

No one knows how a depressed person feels unless they have been, or are, depressed themselves. Living with someone who is depressed is like walking on eggshells, is it a good day or a bad day? Is there something I can do to help or will I make it worse? Why can't I fix my child? Why can't I fix my child...


These are my new "they hurt but are so adorable I wear them anyway" shoes :) Is it wrong to love an inanimate object?

date September 21, 2010

Several years ago I typed all my recipe cards into the computer, printed them on cardstock and then laminated them. Now they are all pretty with borders and decorations and easy to wipe off when I spill on them :p

At the time I did all that the printer automatically put two copies of each recipe on the cardstock, so I made them all up and laminated them all with the plan to someday give the extra recipes away. Today Becky asked me for the recipe cards.

Sometimes it doesn't take much to make a mom happy :)

date September 20, 2010

The cool weather of fall and winter make me want to spend time in the kitchen baking...so that is just what I did today. I made chili in the crockpot for supper and then made carmel dumplings and brownie pudding cake for dessert. The special thing about these goodies are that all three are recipes from my family, the chili is several generations!

I have a basic set of recipes that I can always turn to when I want to make something. For meals I can always do chili, oven chow mein, begger's night casserole or even mashed potato/meatloaf in one dish. Dessert is easy too with carmel dumplings, cherry crisp or angel food cake to choose from. Even breakfast is covered with cinnamon rolls or donuts. The best part of all these yummy foods is that all the recipes are homemade, are from either mom or grandma and have been a staple of my life when I was growing up.

Now I am passing these family treasures onto my kids. Just the other day Becky wanted the chili recipe..already cooking for herself and Eli. Nothing says love like cooking and baking for your family and nothing tastes better than something made from scratch instead of a box. Takes more time, but so worth the effort.

date September 19, 2010

Busy weekend ahead...which is always fun. Tonight I am going to the football game to watch the marching band and my favorite drum major leading them. Of course I will take lots of pictures, after all, this is her final year as drum major!

Tomorrow night Dan and I have a birthday party to attend in Storm Lake. It is for my boss and at King's Pointe so should be a fun time. There is a great band that is going to play and lots of people are attending. Not very often we get out to do something like that so should be a good time.

Sunday Kayla and I are considering going to LeMars for their ChalkArt Festival. People, some professional artists, draw on the sidewalks with chalk...big drawings. Some even look 3D. This has been advertised on TV for several weeks now and looks like it might be fun. Also a good excuse to get some yummy ice cream at the Ice Cream Capital of the World.

Dan is hoping to start combining beans this weekend too. He has to load pigs today and then has a lot of other jobs to get done for his "other bosses" so he isn't sure if he will get time or not. The beans are ready and waiting!

The weather has cooled down and the crops are turning colors. Fall doesn't officially start until next week, but I am welcoming it now. Harvesting, dropping leaves, sweatshirts, football games with marching band...I love it!

date September 17, 2010

This is a blog I read often and this particular post was just too good not to share!


date September 15, 2010

I am the wife of a "real" farmer. That means he not only has crops in the field, he has animals to take care of as well. His job is not just in the spring and the fall, his is year-round. Sometimes even day and night. I am also a part-time farmer. I know how to drive the tractors and how to bale straw. I know how to vaccinate pigs and how to chase them when they get out. I know how to sort pigs for market and how to disk and plow. We are not people who just happen to live in a house in the country...we are farmers and proud of it.

date September 14, 2010

Pretty gray suede flowered flats. These are as close as it gets to going barefoot and so comfortable. Plus they go with everything!
I am guessing there are some people who are reading my posts and thinking "now everytime she puts shoes on here we have to look at that tattoo." Bahaha...get over it!


Dan and I spent the afternoon at the Clay County Fair yesterday. We saw lots of horses, pigs, cows, sheep. chickens, rabbits and ducks. We also saw lots of farm equipment, old tractors and weird people. My favorite part was the Tom Thumb donuts of course! Lots of the exhibits were people selling stuff that you wonder if anyone really ever buys. For example, one booth was selling "Number 2"..."spray the bowl before you go and no one will know". A spray for the toilet to use before you use the toilet so you don't leave a smell behind!! Like the smell of the spray wouldn't give you away...

Lots and lots of walking, lots and lots of people. Saw some we knew, some we were glad we didn't know! All in all it was a great day and we had fun.

This was in the livestock pavilion...not sure if it is a sheep or a goat but it was about 2 feet tall and adorable!

I thought this tractor was very cute, Dan thought that was an inappropriate word for it :)

Apparently this is the new way to carry literature :p

date September 12, 2010

Today is the "big game day"...Iowa State vs Iowa. I really don't know why this is such a big game every year, guess history has just made it that way. Facebook is covered with people cheering on their teams, and I must admit I added myself to that list. I really don't care a lot who wins, but merely for bragging rights at work I would prefer that ISU wins. Legend says that if it rains the week before the game then ISU will win...and it has been raining this week! Really is a silly game of a bunch of boys running after a ball...but GO CYCLONES anyway :)

date September 11, 2010

New fall theme to the blog...I love fall!

date September 10, 2010

I like to be in control of things. I want my house to look a certain way. I want my children to behave a certain way. I want to finish my work by the end of the day before I go home. I have a hard time letting someone else be in charge.

This runs me into a problem when I can't control something. This particular something is the health of my child, and there is nothing more frustrating than not being able to control that. Watching your child suffer and you have no control over it or no way to fix it is the worst feeling. Knowing my child will read this and then feel badly because she is making me feel bad is also the worst feeling. Yet I have to express how I feel, I just have to vent because I am not in control and it bothers me. I want to fix her and make her into the person she was before. I want to turn back time and make everything all right. I want to put people in different places so different things will happen. I want, I want, I want...yet I can't do any of those things. So I have to learn to let go of the control and learn to control a new thing, a new person, a new reality. Not a bad thing to do, just a difficult thing to do.

There are no words to express the love I have for my family. There are no words to express the hurt I feel when one of them hurts. As my children grow and move on I lose control, and I am okay with that. I raised them to be independent. I just want my final child to be able to grow and move away confidently, to be happy and healthy. Is that so much to ask for? I will give up control if I can just give her the life she so much deserves.

date September 8, 2010

The world's highest heels...why were they even made?

date September 7, 2010

A few thoughts for the week.

Tattoos: So many people think I, and anyone else who has them, is nuts. Really, what is the big deal? No one is forcing anyone to look and no one is forcing anyone to get one themselves. My body, my choice. I feel very frustrated that I have to go through this everytime I get another tattoo. Well get ready world, I am not done yet!

Troubles: Everyone has troubles. No one has a perfect life. Currently I have a depressed daughter, a son who does not want to live at home but has no other choice at the moment, fields of corn and beans that were drowned out in the rain which means a loss in our income for the year, a plastic container sitting in the bathtub to catch the drips from the shower head and another container sitting on the floor of the office to catch the drips that leaked through the ceiling from the hole in the pipe in the shower, if it rains hard the wind is from the east I have leaks in walls between the garage and the house so I have mold that I am constantly "attacking" so it doesn't grow where the wall has been wet, the leaks also caused the paint to bubble up on the walls and the ceiling so I have to tear out the ceiling in the office and completely repaint the entire room, my upstairs toilet doesn't run properly, I haven't had a raise at work for two years, the headaches are back for Kayla, I have a rotten case of allergies. These are just the troubles I have that I can think of right off the top of my head. Everyone in the world has troubles. I have no problem with people talking about them and doing some complaining, you have to sometimes. But eventually you have to realize that everyone is in the same boat as you and you are certainly not alone. This should make you feel somewhat better and realize that in order to overcome you troubles you have to have a positive attitude. Smile...it has to get better!

Colleges: Becky is happy at BHSU, that makes me happy. Brian is happy to not be in college at the moment, that makes me happy. Kayla has decided on USD for her college next fall, that makes me happy. A lot of notice has been given to Drake lately, they have a new ad campaign that features "D+" for their main symbol. This is meant to confer that D for Drake is a + for education, but boy does that ad campaign fail! There was an article about it in the Des Moines Register and also comments on it on a blog that I read! Apparently you don't want to take up advertising at Drake :)

Television: Since today is a holiday I don't have to go to work, which means I get to watch daytime television. Sadly, this is not a good thing. Daytime television is so incredibly lame...Jerry Springer, Court TV, Maury Povich...how many shows can they have about who the daddy is? I think I will make it a day of baking and cleaning instead :p

So those are my musings for Monday...I really think I shouldn't be allowed to have weekdays off of work...

date September 6, 2010

Tattoo number three...this one is for me. The first one was for Dan, the second for the kids...I have an obsession with angels so these angel wings are just for me :) It makes me happy...and I think I am done, but maybe not. Just think of what a colorful corpse I will be when I die!

date September 4, 2010
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