Sometimes life doesn't go the way you planned it. Sometimes you have to do things you never thought you would have to do. Sometimes you can do the same thing and get different results.
You raise your children to be independent, self-sufficient, respectable adults. Along the way there are always bumps and upsets, but you learn to deal with them and move on. But once in awhile those bumps turn into hills and if you aren't careful, those hills can become mountains.
It is difficult to admit that your child is depressed. Mostly because people just assume that means she is sad and she will get over it. No. She has an illness called depression and unless treated properly she will not get over it. Yet the treatment doesn't always work 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Some days are hard on her and that makes those days hard on me as well. She has no reason for her feelings and that makes it harder yet. Sometimes, plain and simple, life sucks.
Depression is a common illness and there are probably plenty of people we are in contact with every day that suffer from it. But it has such a stigma attached that few people talk about it, let alone admit they have it. Television commercials try to sell the right drug to "fix it" but it is still something that no one wants to talk about. These people are just sad, tell them to get over it and move on. Someone dies, you are sad. Your car breaks down, your house starts on fire, your dog dies, you get a detention in school, you get fired...all those things make you sad. But for those things you know why you are sad, with depression you don't know why. That alone makes it more difficult, then when you have people telling you to get over it that just makes it worse. People bitch and complain about how bad their lives are, you tell them they are just making you feel worse, they continue to bitch...not helping!
No one knows how a depressed person feels unless they have been, or are, depressed themselves. Living with someone who is depressed is like walking on eggshells, is it a good day or a bad day? Is there something I can do to help or will I make it worse? Why can't I fix my child? Why can't I fix my child...
September 22, 2010