Sit in front of a blinking computer curser and write something about romance. Okay, I can do this, after all, I have been married almost 24 years so I should have lots of romantic stories. Ummm...wait a minute, this doesn't seem to be flowing out of me like it should. Could it be there is no romance in my life? Nah, mine is just a different sort of romance.

I married a down-to-earth farmer. He is the guy who seems to remember the crop price he got for his corn in 1982 easier than my birthday. Even his proposal of marriage wasn't romantic. Just a simple question I asked of him one night "how do you plan to spend the rest of your life?" followed by his to the point answer "married to you". No down on one knee, no fancy diamond in his pocket, no drama. That is my farmer, unromantic to the core. But you know what? That is one of the many things I love about him the most.
I don't want the flowers and candy and fancy wrapped gifts on Valentine's Day. I want the steady, unending, reliable daily love. I want to go home after a bad day at work and know he will be there ready with a joke that I have heard a million times before, but it still makes me laugh. I want the guy that doesn't buy me flowers because they will just die anyway. The farmer that took 22 years to buy me jewelry, after all hadn't he bought me a wedding ring, what more did I need? I don't like romance, to me it is just a big show. I much prefer the little day to day stuff that doesn't scream "look at me, I love you!" but just quietly says "you are my world and I don't know what I would do without you".
My "romance" comes from the guy who makes me laugh, makes me think, makes me scratch my head in disbelief and makes living in an empty nest bearable. That last one is the most important, after 23 years of having kids around and then suddenly it is just the two of us, that is a tough adjustment to make. The true romantic knows when I am feeling lonely and reaches across the couch to hold my hand and tell me it is okay to feel that way. I don't need the show, I just need the knowledge that forever, for always and no matter what, I am loved...24/7, 365.

date February 2, 2012

3 comments to “Unromance”

  1. Brandee Shafer
    February 2, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    Congratulations on almost 24 years of marriage! That's something of which to be really proud!

  1. Jennifer @
    February 3, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    Nodding my head here, knowing what you mean:

    "... stuff that doesn't scream "look at me, I love you!" but just quietly says "you are my world and I don't know what I would do without you".

    Yes, so true.

    And I'm so delighted you included this picture. Got a little misty-eyed, recognizing those windows behind you.

    Thank you for writing in community with the High Calling project! How fun to have you along for this journey!

  1. grandma F
    February 5, 2012 at 6:31 PM

    Dan may not be to romantic but he is a good guy, you will always be able to count on him in good times and bad. I know he is very dependable and would never let you down. You picked a good old fashioned farmer as I did so many years ago, many more things more important than romance.

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