I have a problem, and I don't see a solution to it in the near future. It plagues me daily, usually after work. I just can't ignore it and it doesn't go away until I deal with it. Sometimes I have to deal with it twice a day and if I don't, I won't sleep at night. What is this horrible issue you ask? I have an urge to never have a dirty carpet and feel the need to vacuum! *sigh* It feels good to put it out there in the open. I can vacuum and everything looks great...but then either Dan comes home and tracks in, or I do some sewing and track little threads everywhere, then I have to sweep up the mess. I don't know why this bothers me so much, it certainly didn't used to! I remember a completely messy room all the years I lived at home, and for several years after I got married. My bedroom was a disaster, I often had to iron something to wear that had lain on the floor for a couple days :p But then something hit and I hate having a messy house. I tidy things almost every day when I get home from work, and of course vacuum. In all the years we have lived here we have never had anyone stop by because they had car trouble or some such thing, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking someone might so the house better be clean! I am not a clean freak or anything, it hasn't gotten out of hand, but really? I feel the need to vacuum every day? Haha...sometimes life just isn't what you expect it to be is it? I better go now, I just finished sewing and the carpet has some threads on it....
February 19, 2012
1. My house is a mess, but I am spending my time on Pinterest and sewing.
2. Everytime I wear my knee high boots I feel bad-ass.
3. Some people judge me because I swear.
4. I am doing my best to no longer judge people by their appearance or what I think I know about them.
5. Everyone gets older, but not everyone grows up.
6. Sometimes people do something in a fit of anger and they think they are really showing someone else but in reality the other person doesn't really care so the first person didn't gain anything.
7. No matter how old you get when your parents criticize you it still hurts.
8. I miss my kids.
9. I keep the thermostat set at 62 degrees because I hate to pay the propane bill.
10. When the kids come home I turn the heat up.
11. I am addicted to Pinterest.
12. Twitter no longer holds my interest.
13. I talk to my kids through texts more than any other way.
14. I am sad for Keri and thrilled for Amy.
15. I enjoy an alcoholic drink every now and then and people judge me for that too.
16. I think I pray differently than most people.
17. I always make Dan walk into places in front of me. It looks rude for him, but I hate going first.
18. Without my calendar on my phone I would be lost.
19. I am highly organized and Dan is not, which drives me nuts.
20. I can forgive and forget almost anything, but not everything. After awhile the shit just piles too high.
21. My favorite TV show is Parenthood, followed closely by CSI.
22. People who think the world revolves around them annoy me.
23. Now that I have a Kindle holding a book to read seems strange.
24. I hate to cook.
25. People who can't or won't fight their own battles shouldn't start a battle.
26. I am incredibly stubborn.
27. Driving to and from work is my most "thoughtful" time. I come up with great ideas.
28. If I don't write those great ideas down I forget them by the time I get to my destination.
29. People who type q when they mean g or their when they mean they're need to go back to school.
30. This list has become quite long and perhaps tedious.
31. I don't care that this list has become quite long and perhaps tedious.
32. I wish my kids lived closer to me.\
33. I want my job to pay me more money and have less annoying people.
34. I hate to buy groceries but I love to shop.
35. Politics bore and excite me at the same time.
36. People's opinion of me no longer matters to me because I am happy with myself.
37. Whitney Houston was a drug addict and I don't think everyone should keep idolizing her.
38. Dan is addicted to the TV show Jeopardy.
39. I feel very smart when I can answer a Jeopardy question.
40. If I could have convinced Dan we would have had a fourth child.
41. I still hate my empty nest.
42. When I come home after work the first thing I do is take off my shoes, followed by my rings.
43. I go to bed at 9 every night to watch TV and seldom fall asleep before midnight.
44. I have over 50 angels in my collection.
45. I now have one thought for every year of my life.
Happy 51st birthday...to the guy that makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me think, makes me scratch my head in disbelief, makes me happy and makes life in an empty nest bearable. Happy birthday to my honey, my best friend, my farmer, my bunny rabbit. I love you.
Sit in front of a blinking computer curser and write something about romance. Okay, I can do this, after all, I have been married almost 24 years so I should have lots of romantic stories. Ummm...wait a minute, this doesn't seem to be flowing out of me like it should. Could it be there is no romance in my life? Nah, mine is just a different sort of romance.
I don't want the flowers and candy and fancy wrapped gifts on Valentine's Day. I want the steady, unending, reliable daily love. I want to go home after a bad day at work and know he will be there ready with a joke that I have heard a million times before, but it still makes me laugh. I want the guy that doesn't buy me flowers because they will just die anyway. The farmer that took 22 years to buy me jewelry, after all hadn't he bought me a wedding ring, what more did I need? I don't like romance, to me it is just a big show. I much prefer the little day to day stuff that doesn't scream "look at me, I love you!" but just quietly says "you are my world and I don't know what I would do without you".
My "romance" comes from the guy who makes me laugh, makes me think, makes me scratch my head in disbelief and makes living in an empty nest bearable. That last one is the most important, after 23 years of having kids around and then suddenly it is just the two of us, that is a tough adjustment to make. The true romantic knows when I am feeling lonely and reaches across the couch to hold my hand and tell me it is okay to feel that way. I don't need the show, I just need the knowledge that forever, for always and no matter what, I am loved...24/7, 365.
