Life Down On The Farm

I am sitting here writing this in a motel in Lawrence, Kansas. I brought all Brian's furniture and stuff down to him yesterday, got him all moved into his new apartment. Now I am getting ready to go home and I keep thinking about the room I can now transform into a sewing room.

I have been thinking about this sewing room for months, pretty much ever since Brian announced he would be moving to Lawrence and working there. I had so many plans what I could do with it, once his bed and table and posters were gone. I could paint the room, put up new curtains, maybe a nice rug...the ideas were endless!

Then yesterday Dan and I loaded up all Brian's things and the room was empty. I took down all his posters and decorations, swept up the thumbtacks from underneath where his bed sat and opened up the sewing machine, which he had been using as a computer table. Suddenly it was no longer Brian's room..it was just an empty room in the house. I thought I was ready for this...heaven knows Brian is ready to move on! But it hit me pretty hard...he is gone for good now. No longer do I have a bedroom for my oldest child and that is a little strange. Of course he is always, always welcome to move back home if he needs to, but I doubt he will. I can legitimately change his room into mine and he will be okay with that...as long as I leave room for an air mattress when he comes to visit! I know he is old enough to be on his own and be responsible for himself, but it is still hard to take this final step.

I will paint the room a bright, fun color. I will add new colorful curtains. I will move in my sewing tubs and fabric. I will put in a big table so I have room to work. I will start laying out Kayla's t-shirt quilt and start sewing it. I might even put some sewing themed decorations on the walls. But no matter what I change in the room, and no matter what I do in the room, it will, in my mind, always be Brian's room :)