Kayla is 16.
Kayla can drive by herself.
Kayla is a junior in high school...the 11th grade.
Kayla is taking Basic Comp, Spanish III and Chemistry.
All of these are simple facts about Kayla. Yet I am unable to wrap my brain around them. How in the world did this happen? I can look at her and see she is grown, I can listen to her talk and hear that she is grown. Yet I find it impossible to believe that it is reality.
Now I am not saying this just because she is growing up. I honestly have a difficult time with these facts and realizing that they are indeed facts. Yes, she is the baby of the family, so that may be part of it. Yes, she is the only child living at home so I tend to "baby"her more. But in my head, while I know she is older and wiser and well on her way to leaving for college in a few years, I cannot make myself understand how this all happened so suddenly. I understood when she was 15 and in 10th grade and driving with a school permit. I understood when she had to be taken everywhere she wanted to go. I understood when she was taking English, Spanish II and Biology. Why can't I understand that she is now a year older and more advanced? Why do I struggle with this so much this year? Why suddenly now? Why?
August 28, 2009
Today is my mom's 70th birthday. Having two daughters of my own I think I have a pretty good understanding of the relationship between mothers and daughters. I am lucky enough to say that we are past the stage of her really being the authority figure in my life, she has now moved to the friend figure. Granted, if she tells me to do something I still do it, but now it is more out of respect than just the fact that she is mom. I find it hard to believe she is 70 as she sure as heck doesn't act her age...which is a good thing. The past years she has had some hard times, some good times and some questionable times...but through it all she has been my advisor, my chauffeur, my doctor, my cook, my bank, my #1 fan and my rock. I love my mom and hope to celebrate many more years with her. Happy birthday mom!
We got Becky all moved into the dorm at USD today...she had to be there a week early to start marching band. She had a lot of stuff to take and suprisingly it all fit! She seemed a little nervous about all of it, but I am sure once she makes some friends and gets involved she will have a great time. She went to the bookstore and got most of her books, there were two that weren't in yet so she will have to go back in about a week to buy them. The worst part of her day was parting with the money to buy the books! Dan and I took her for a little ride around the town so she could get an idea of where things were and she will have to walk around campus to find where all her classes will be. It wasn't too hard to leave her behind, she was ready to put all her stuff away and didn't need mom and dad in the way...so now we are a three person household...crazy!
Got Brian all moved into his dorm yesterday...took us 7.5 hours to get there but only 6.5 to get home. Apparently I travel faster without Brian! His dorm room is big compared to normal dorm rooms, he is on the 7th floor and has a nice view of the campus. The main building where he will be having most of his classes is quite aways away, so he will have to ride the campus bus or drive and take a chance of finding a parking spot. In the time it took him to walk into the dorm, get his room key and find his room he met 4 people...no worries about him making friends! He is excited to be there and anxious for classes to start so that made leaving him a little easier...although I don't like that he is so far away. Thanksgiving break can't come soon enough for me!
Hail can be a powerful thing. Dan and I went to Wall Lake to see what damage there was after the hail storm the other night and it was bad. Bean fields that you couldn't even tell were supposed to be growing beans. Corn fields with nothing but stalks left standing and open ears of corn barely hanging on. Even the weeds in the ditches were stripped and bent over. Almost every house in town with windows facing west had plywood over where the windows used to be. A metal quonset had so many dings in the west side it looked like someone had purposely taken a hammer to it and made a pattern.
Brian, almost 5 years old, was disappointed. His mom went to the hospital and brought home a baby sister. He already had one, why did he need another? A brother would have been preferred. Becky, 2 1/2, was pretty much oblivious to the whole situation. Mom and Dad, 26 and 32, didn't care if this baby wore blue or pink hand-me-downs, they were just happy it was a healthy baby. Sixteen years later everyone seems to have adjusted to the new addition.
Kayla Jean, born at 4:45 pm, approximately, the doctor forgot to look at the clock when she was born. Weighing in at a whopping 9 pounds 3 1/4 ounces and 20 inches long. Exactly one pound bigger than her brother and over a pound bigger than her sister. From the moment she was born Kayla was the quiet one, seldom cried. Little Kayla, who wouldn't talk to anyone but her mom until she was 3 years old...except to say "cracker please" every time her daddy was eating them.
Kayla at 16 is still the quiet, shy one. But she is also the wild, loud one when the situation calls for it. Kayla at 16 is the total band nerd playing 3 instruments and wanting to learn more. Kayla at 16 is still the baby of the family and always will be. Kayla at 16 is the image of her Grandpa Josephson...if you are going to do something do it perfectly or don't bother to do it at all. Kayla at 16 is timid and boisterous at the same time, shy and outgoing, self-conscious and egotistical. Kayla is a wonder of life...Kayla is Kayla.
The little girl who didn't walk until she was 16 months old now runs in cross country. The little girl who was too shy to talk to her preschool teacher now is involved in speech. The little girl who would eat almost anything could now live on chocolate. The little girl who had one best friend in elementary now has lots of friends to hang out with. The little girl is now an almost-grown girl.
Kayla was, and still is, a mommy's girl. A near constant shadow following me. But she has grown into a person who has skills and interests different than mine, she still follows me and still wants to be around me, but at 16 she is her own person. A wonderful, talented, gifted, skilled, beautiful person who leaves a lasting memory with everyone she comes in contact with. This quiet, shy little girl now has the courage to do more than she ever thought she would be capable of. Music is her life and someday she wants music to be her career.
There were times that I made mistakes while raising Kayla. There were times that I thought things couldn't get better than they were at that moment with her...but then they did. There were times I thought that things couldn't get worse with her...but then they did. At all these times my thoughts were the same...God gave me this child to raise and until the day He calls her home again she is mine to love and take care of and I will do the very best I can while I have the opportunity. That counts for all three of my kids...while I have them on loan from God I will take care of them best I can. Kayla may be nearly grown at 16, but as long as I am around she will always be my little girl. My quiet, shy, outgoing, loud, incredible little girl. Sweet 16...sweet memories and sweet times to come.